A World With More Coffee Drinkers

Imagine a world where more people are drinking coffee. You would actually get to see the "You Win!" screen when you win an online game, as none of your opponents would be salty enough to disconnect, thanks to their improved moods. Gaming sessions could also last longer, as coffee's caffeine content drastically delays the rate at which fatigue sets in for every player. The net result would be more time for practice, leading to more competitive matches at every level of play. Who wouldn't want that?

Increased coffee consumption would have benefits for the average gamer above and beyond what players could achieve alone. Internet trolls would stop posting in online forums just to aggravate other people. Internet Service Providers would finally have the focus required to eliminate lag from the online gaming experience. RNG would be eliminated from every game, ensuring that matches are decided by skill alone!

Okay, maybe that last one is stretching a little too far. No matter how good you are at Mario Kart, the scrub in last place is going to derail your victory with a perfectly timed blue shell no matter how much coffee everyone involved drank. Caffeine will also fail to save you from random variables such as critical hits and status ailments in Pokemon. Still, increased coffee consumption would be great for gamers worldwide.

Player One Coffee shares this vision and hopes to bring about this world by producing premium coffee blends roasted by gamers, for gamers. Player One Coffee packs the punch to give you the mental acuity you need to rise to any virtual challenge. Other brands are lacking in this regard, a fact that stems from how they view gaming.

Other brands will tell you that playing video games is the epitome of laziness, but gamers know better. Competitive online games require skills honed through dedication and practice, an intense level of focus, and an insatiable drive to be the best. Other coffee brands refuse to acknowledge these facts, dooming them to rely on luck to beat Player One Coffee's clear edge in skill.

The next time you're going over your items to enter a dungeon, rescue the princess, or game with some friends, you know what type of coffee should be in your inventory.